Your teenager faces several areas of peer pressure during his or her high school years. What makes it even harder for your teenager is that most parents do not understand the depths to which these pressures go.
Cigarettes and Alcohol
Cigarettes and alcohol more than likely will be among the first areas which your teenager will have to face peer pressure. With movies and television flashing images of underage smoking and drinking, most teenagers are shown only the more enjoyable and funny sides of these habits.
High school years are very competitive, and where your teenager stands on the popular scale with the rest of his or her peers is very important. To be considered a "looser" is one of the biggest fears of today's teenager.
To avoid this label they sometimes will portray an image of being tough, rebellious and uncontrolled by their parents. For today's teenagers, smoking and drinking are the easiest ways to declare their independence.
Drugs
A more dangerous and potentially life-threatening pressure teens face is drugs. The first and most commonly available is marijuana. This is a cheap and readily-available drug in today's society, and most teenagers do not consider it harmful. In their eyes it does not cause serious addictions like heroin or methamphetamines. The marijuana use depicted in movies and television does not show teenagers that marijuana is illegal and that being caught under the influence or in possession of such an item can ruin their future. Additionally, smoking marijuana may lead to more serious drugs such as heroin, crack or methamphetamines.
Sex
Every year the age at which teenagers begin having sex gets younger and younger. In order to be popular or liked by boys, a girl must be willing to have sex. Otherwise, they are considered "up-tight" and are paid no attention. Boys who are not willing to have casual sex with a girl are considered weak. Oral sex has become very popular among today's teenager due to teens' belief believe that it isn't serious since there is no risk of pregnancy.
What Parents Can Do
Telling your teenager not to give into these peer pressures will have little or no effect. Your teenager equates his popularity among his friends with his self worth. The more insecure your teenager is, the more likely he will give into these pressures to be accepted and popular.
Threats and punishment by parents put additional pressure on teenagers. Now they face the pressure from their peers on one side and the threats from their parents on the other side. Trying to avoid or ease some of the pressure, teenagers may avoid contact with their parents or lie to them.
Instead, you should recognize that fitting in and not being called a looser is very serious and important to your teen. Convey to your teen that you understand the pressures she is facing. Offer open discussions about situations and incidents - without the threat of punishment or judgment. This will encourage your teenager to talk and lead them to trust you for advice about specific issues they are facing. By openly discussing the pressures they are facing with you, you will have a chance to voice your concerns and your opinion. Your teenager will be far more receptive to your suggestions if situations are discussed peacefully.
Be open with your teenager about all forms of sexual intercourse. Explain that there are other reasons not to become sexually involved too early. Besides worrying about pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS, remind your teenager that they also need to consider their pride and self respect.
Christina Botto has been involved with helping parents and teenagers resolve complicated issues for more than 14 years, observing and developing parenting strategies. Her dedication to helping parents inspired her to write her book, Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-step Guide for Parents that Works.
Parenting your teenager doesn't have to be frustrating - visit Parenting A Teenager, where parents can find Christina's articles and her book, news for Education K-12 and College, LIVE Counseling, and a variety of other tools and resources for both communicating with their teen and helping parents deal with issues they are struggling with.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christina_Botto
Monday, August 27, 2007
Introduction to Parenting Teenagers
The process of parenting teenagers can be full of surprises and paradox. You can go through moments of great joy and moments of deep disappointment. It is important to know that the teen years are the time when you child is slowly extracting him or herself from your direct control and supervision.
This is not a momentary action. It takes several years for both the parent and child to adapt to a more self-sufficient and independent child. It is vital that you as parent support your child in this process as opposed to hindering them.
This process is really what you have been preparing your child for, and it is why you have been raising your child -- to stand on their own two feet as an adult. It is very important that you rejoice as your teenager progresses towards independence while you continue to provide a safety net.
You as a parent must understand that this separation process is going to commence when the child begins to celebrate his or her double digit birthdays.
Begin the process by identifying external interests for the child to be involved in. Some children are athletic and for those a team sports a wonderful environment to keep the child involved in wholesome activities. However, do not delegate your parental responsibilities to external parties. You still need to be very involved with this area of the child's life. You must demonstrate your interest by attending games, for example.
Church activities can also be very valuable to help your teenager as the child starts to become aware of their spiritual life. Having access to an external spiritual leader and group helps both the parent and the teenager.
Teenagers can adopt many other activities that interest them, such as singing in a choir, playing in a band, going camping, showing off their skills at gymnastics, and many other constructive activities. These activities help the teenager to develop their own interests and form their own identity as they pull further and further away from the direct control and influence of the parent.
A very important aspect of teenage parenting is the presentation of a united front. Teenagers are experts at playing the one parent off against the other to get their way. It creates confusion in the family and it is not good for the teenager if parents openly disagree. Even when the two parents may have disagreements about rules, those disagreements must be worked out in private. The teenager needs the structured environment of getting a consistent answer from both parents.
Regardless of how well your parenting skills are developed, you can expect some rough patches as your child goes through the teenage years. It is all just a natural process of becoming an adult.
Mary Loewen contributes parenting advice to ParentPlaza.com, where you can also read about surrogate parenting. For short parenting problems tips, bookmark Parenting Problems Tips.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Loewen
This is not a momentary action. It takes several years for both the parent and child to adapt to a more self-sufficient and independent child. It is vital that you as parent support your child in this process as opposed to hindering them.
This process is really what you have been preparing your child for, and it is why you have been raising your child -- to stand on their own two feet as an adult. It is very important that you rejoice as your teenager progresses towards independence while you continue to provide a safety net.
You as a parent must understand that this separation process is going to commence when the child begins to celebrate his or her double digit birthdays.
Begin the process by identifying external interests for the child to be involved in. Some children are athletic and for those a team sports a wonderful environment to keep the child involved in wholesome activities. However, do not delegate your parental responsibilities to external parties. You still need to be very involved with this area of the child's life. You must demonstrate your interest by attending games, for example.
Church activities can also be very valuable to help your teenager as the child starts to become aware of their spiritual life. Having access to an external spiritual leader and group helps both the parent and the teenager.
Teenagers can adopt many other activities that interest them, such as singing in a choir, playing in a band, going camping, showing off their skills at gymnastics, and many other constructive activities. These activities help the teenager to develop their own interests and form their own identity as they pull further and further away from the direct control and influence of the parent.
A very important aspect of teenage parenting is the presentation of a united front. Teenagers are experts at playing the one parent off against the other to get their way. It creates confusion in the family and it is not good for the teenager if parents openly disagree. Even when the two parents may have disagreements about rules, those disagreements must be worked out in private. The teenager needs the structured environment of getting a consistent answer from both parents.
Regardless of how well your parenting skills are developed, you can expect some rough patches as your child goes through the teenage years. It is all just a natural process of becoming an adult.
Mary Loewen contributes parenting advice to ParentPlaza.com, where you can also read about surrogate parenting. For short parenting problems tips, bookmark Parenting Problems Tips.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Loewen
Teenage Dating - 10 Tips for Parents
Dating among teenagers is a reality and seen by some as a right of passage from childhood to adolescence. Adolescence is also a time when your child wants to fit in, belong and be accepted. Parents must set appropriate boundaries to help their teenager come through this very challenging developmental stage.
1. Decide if your teenager is responsible and emotionally mature enough to handle dating.
2. Look at your teenager’s track record. Do they have numerous instances of lying, breaking rules, and not following through on commitments or promises? Past behaviors although not a 100% are strong indicators of future behavior.
3. Discuss which persons and places are off limits.
4. Discuss in advance which dates require adult supervision or chaperones.
5. Know who your teenager will be dating before they ring the doorbell on the first date and have contact information.
6. Set the night(s) on which your teenager can go out on a date.
7. Set an appropriate curfew time and make your teenager stick to it. Decide with your teenager consequences for curfew violations. Research shows that most children and teenagers set much tougher consequences than their parents.
8. Let your teenager know that under no circumstances are they to drink and drive. It is also important to stress to them that they are also not to get into the car with someone who plans to drive after drinking. Tell them to call home for a ride regardless of the hour and no questions will be asked.
9. Be open and frank with your teenager regarding dating and sex. Discuss safer safe practices including appropriate condom and birth control use.
10. Ask your teenager if they are having sex. Remember most teenagers are afraid to be honest with their parents for fear of their reaction. So don’t ask if you really don’t want to hear the answer.
Felecia D. Sheffield, PhD, is an author, trainer, international speaker and life coach. Dr. Sheffield has over 15 years of experience providing services to parents, schools, colleges, universities, and social services agencies. For addtional parenting articles, ADHD, LD and college resources visit http://www.psychcore.com
Copyright 2004-2007, Felecia D. Sheffield. PhD. All Rights Reserved Worldwide in all Media. Reprint Rights: You may reprint this article in your ezine, newsletter, newspaper, magazine, website, etc. as long as you leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, leave my name and bio box intact, and you follow all of the EzineArticles Terms of Service for Publishers.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Felecia_Sheffield_PhD
1. Decide if your teenager is responsible and emotionally mature enough to handle dating.
2. Look at your teenager’s track record. Do they have numerous instances of lying, breaking rules, and not following through on commitments or promises? Past behaviors although not a 100% are strong indicators of future behavior.
3. Discuss which persons and places are off limits.
4. Discuss in advance which dates require adult supervision or chaperones.
5. Know who your teenager will be dating before they ring the doorbell on the first date and have contact information.
6. Set the night(s) on which your teenager can go out on a date.
7. Set an appropriate curfew time and make your teenager stick to it. Decide with your teenager consequences for curfew violations. Research shows that most children and teenagers set much tougher consequences than their parents.
8. Let your teenager know that under no circumstances are they to drink and drive. It is also important to stress to them that they are also not to get into the car with someone who plans to drive after drinking. Tell them to call home for a ride regardless of the hour and no questions will be asked.
9. Be open and frank with your teenager regarding dating and sex. Discuss safer safe practices including appropriate condom and birth control use.
10. Ask your teenager if they are having sex. Remember most teenagers are afraid to be honest with their parents for fear of their reaction. So don’t ask if you really don’t want to hear the answer.
Felecia D. Sheffield, PhD, is an author, trainer, international speaker and life coach. Dr. Sheffield has over 15 years of experience providing services to parents, schools, colleges, universities, and social services agencies. For addtional parenting articles, ADHD, LD and college resources visit http://www.psychcore.com
Copyright 2004-2007, Felecia D. Sheffield. PhD. All Rights Reserved Worldwide in all Media. Reprint Rights: You may reprint this article in your ezine, newsletter, newspaper, magazine, website, etc. as long as you leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, leave my name and bio box intact, and you follow all of the EzineArticles Terms of Service for Publishers.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Felecia_Sheffield_PhD
Teenager Must Know
This is a website for teenagers..
What they must know and mustn't know.. is all here.
What they must know and mustn't know.. is all here.
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